Chapter 7

There is no God. If there was how could he make me suffer like this. My emotions have begun to hardened. My brothers even enjoy beating me up now. Mother chocked me and when I kicked her to get free she told me I damaged the baby. I felt so bad. Kevin was such a cute child. I loved him and he brought warmth into my heart. I knew one day however that he would treat me just like my other brothers. I started acting out to show I didn't care anymore. When I acted out in the store Mother put me in the gas chamber for an hour. I went back to being my wimpy self. Father and Mother started fighting more and more to the point that Father finally moved out of the house. I can't believe he didn't take me with him. Where is my hero? I knew my days of living were at an end. May my soul rest in peace. Amen.

Chapter 6

Father started coming home less and less. I still felt that he was my protector and I wanted him to stay longer. Mother started playing new games while he was away. She would mix ammonia and Clorox and shut me in the bathroom. The gas chamber was the game I hated the most. The other game she develop was making sit in cold water in the tub for hours. School started and we had a sub for two weeks. When her time came to an end I did not want her to go. I realized later that I had a crush on her. After some time I was called to the nurse's office. There I would get my injuries checked and recorded and tell the nurse what happened. Mother had her fifth son Kevin. While she was away I got to be part of the family again. One day out of nowhere Mother told me everything was over. I should have known better. A lady from social services came by and asked me questions. I answered wrong and when she left Mother beat me. Things returned to normal and I continued to dream that Father would make everything better one day.

Chapter 5

As her newborn son grew up he became mother's little snitch. He would even make up lies just to get me into trouble. I knew he knew no better but I hated him all the same. One day mother called me up to wash the dishes. This time I had 20 minutes or I would go without dinner. She began ranting and saying she'd kill me. I was not afraid. She had done this before but this time I felt something wrong. Before I could do anything I felt a sharp pain and eventually blacked out. I awoke in the tub with Mother dressing my wound. I thought she would take me to the hospital and everything would be okay again. Mother, however, told me I now had 30 minutes to wash the dishes. As I went downstairs I asked Father for help. He told me to go wash the dishes. My hero was no longer one. I fought on and washed the dishes. Afterward Mother gave me water and I got to play with fireworks. I felt like part of the family again but that did not last long. Things went back to normal. I decided I could only rely on myself so when I noticed my wound was infected I took care of it myself. I was like superman.

Chapter 4

As time went on Mother would forget to feed me dinner. In the morning I was lucky if I got some leftovers from my brothers breakfast. I became so hungry I started stealing food from kids in my class. One of my teachers took interest in and had Mother called to the school. She took her newborn baby and told the school that I was crazy and wanted attention. When I was unable to steal food from kids, I would go to the store during recess and steal from there. One day I stole a lunch from the school, but when I got home mother made me throw it up and eat it. Instead of taking me to school Mother made me run. On my way there I would stop at houses and tell others I forgot my lunch and ask if they could make me something. Soon though Mother found out. For my punishment she had me drink ammonia. I thought I was going to die. After the second time she only made me drink Clorox and dish washing liquid. I continued to fight her so that I may live another day.

Chapter 3

Punishment from mother started with only sitting in the corner. After a while, however, that seemed to not be good enough. Mother began smashing my face into the mirror and I was to stay there until noted otherwise. When father was home I spent most of my time with him. He was protection from my mother. One day while he was at work mother damaged my arm. She made up with huge story about how she tried to catch me from the top bunk. It made me sick. At school I was really happy. I made tons of friends and I did well in school. Mother told me I was a bad boy though and she had me held back. For Christmas I received a paint by number set that father had bought behind my mother's back and when we went to the campsite this year they dropped me off at our aunt's house. I wanted to be with them so I tried to escape but I failed in the end. One night mother decided I could not go to the club meetings anymore. She took me home and tried to burn me on the stove! I outsmarted her though by buying time. I won! I beat mother for the first time! That's when I decided I will be strong and survive.

Chapter 2

I can not stop thinking about the way things use to be. The days when mother taught us many lessons from events that happened like when our cat gave birth. The days when she would take us to see the great pumpkin or the harvest moon. When we would decorate the Christmas tree and go on a trip to see the decorations around town. My favorite memory though is the trip we took to the Russian River. Their mother wrapped her arms around me and I have never felt has safe as I did at that time.

Chapter 1

Today was like any other day. Mother punished me for being bad but my will to live is stronger then her. At school the nurse looked me over as usually but something was different. Mr. Hansen, the principle, talked to me then sent me back to class. When they called me back my teachers and a police officer were also there. I panicked not knowing what I had done so wrong today. They told me everything was going to be okay as I was pressured to tell them about mother. Mother, I'm sorry I could not keep the secret that you wanted me to keep. The police officer took me away. I assumed I was going to jail but as we drove down the highway he said "You're free." In truth, what did that really mean?